helllo,
honoured readers!

I'm sure most of you had received your MID-YEAR result,
to be frank,
I don't usually get a good results after i'm primary six
reasons?
i hanged out with bad company
i went out to fight
i smoked
i rebel to everyone
rude to teachers
dadi gone in 2005
my dearest cousin gone forever in 2006
i played computer games;since that time Maple is a very hot issue in LAN
i don't go home and do my homework,instead
i throw my school bag,wash out,and go back in the streets
to be honest i'm wild.
i thought that,no used studying when actually nobody would support from my back,
i have no mummy around me,mummy left me when i just started primary one
AYAH? gone behind the bars for ten years and backed in 2006
someone i love left me after an motocycle accident,
thats where i becaming more,more rebelious
i stayed with my grandparents for more then 14 years of my life,
before that,i was being pushed around like a toy in 3 houses.


my step grandmama;nenek used to nag at me
because i change drastically after ayah was back.
maybe because of pampered'ness i've got,
wealthy'ness,maybe for someone i missing soo much,or just my devil horns was freed atlast.
generally all i wanted that time is freedom.
now,my PSLE drench soo much,
serve me right,
i don't study for PSLE at all.not at all.i don't even know that i'm doing for PSLE that time.
if only i've studied,i should have gone express stream right now.
if only...

then i came across remembering arwah Abg Achmad and arwah dadi words before he and she gone
"study hard,make us proud we love you oke mida"
i cried
i regret forgetting his words
it seems like i was given a big invisible tight slap
from that day onwards i became a good girl in sec one 2007
with ayah on my side,
no long after that,i still can remember the date,7 august 2008
ayah went missing,till 15th august i've got to knw that he was back behind the bars.
the feelings i could describe
dissapointed,sad,angry,and mixed emotion
why? he had promised me not to went back
having me going through that isn't easy
after i calm down till september 2008
my dearest Father-like uncle passed away peacefully in sleep
the impact was really really awfull,
the uncle i loved soo much,
more then my own father
who never forgets to bring me with him wherever he goes
left me forver.
i really could not accept the fact he has to go,
after arwah abg achmad go,he always say he wants to follow
maybe baba now happily with abg achmad and dadi now.

baba,abg achmad and dadi i miss you,i won't forget to pray for yu guys,and serdekah surah yasin,
i'll take care of mama,don't worry,we'll be meeting you guys soon.we love you.

after that another invisible tight slap came across me,
i was given "wake-up call"
i changes to matured girl
i can talked openly with people,now
all with the help of Yayasan mendaki.
who has help me opening my eyes
and to see that im fortunate then other people
i can go through adversity,
now i'm more appreciate to other people around me.


i berSYUKUR as Allah s.w.t still give me chances to study and land me in normal academic,for three years now.
i have monkeys,hooligans,musketeers,minahs,ahbengs,ahlians,mats,emos etc.etc
in my class nw,such a nice combination.
everyday i went home having migraines,
until now i could not get a good results,
i failed two subjects for MYE
so now i have to work hard for end-of year exams.

"If you stop learning,thats means you stop living"