Siti Hamidah Alexander Photographer.Balloon Sculpturer.Chocoholic. i like to get to the very bottom of things and to rummage in books. Wants to be a Psychologist.Talents for being Drama-tic.;)

DAMN.

Had a bad day yesterday.
followed CNB to bedok headquarters
frm 10am to 5.30pm.
i was totaly stress out.
i feel that world is the end to me.
Now i don't trust anyone;
friends
teachers
counsellors
families

i don't care,all of them are hyprocrites
i don't trust anyone!!
not a single person in the world.

i don't want to talk to anyone.
no one!

i felt soo damn traumatised

i don't want to go to that damn headquarters anymore!
i don't want to see any officers anymore.
i don't want to get cuffed anymore.
i feel soo depressed.

No one cld feel what i feel to be inside,get fucked up by the officers,its not a funny matter and fun thing to do.if yu guys thinks getting in a CNB van is a cool thing to do.you are totaly wrong.
change before everything changed you.

the police report will follow yu everywhere till end of your life.
think about yur future
think about how

you gonna find work with such records
its unbearable.
i've exprienced the bitter moment of my life.

the bittest.

i hate everybody right now

i hate!!

right now i'm so blur
i keep seeing things that happend yesterday

its a nightmare
its hunting me everyday
it shakes me everytime i saw a police station.

WHY?WHY?WHY?

i'm
helpless
souless
lifeless
hopeless

i've no more energy to move on.
i'm not the person to be loved anymore.
i'm not the person to be cared for.
i'm not my normal self anymore.

i'm not the siti hamidah on the last thursday morning yu guys saw.
i maybe worst
i maybe rude
i maybe arrogant
i maybe selfish
i maybe restless
i maybe not the same person yu saw yesterday.
trust me,i won't care about anybody.